Wind. It dries out my skin and blows my hair in my mouth. It tumps over chairs and deposits garbage in the yard. It makes everything so much harder. I say we abolish it.
Buffering. I'm all like, come here, come to my computer and watch this funny video because it's so funny! And they come, and they gather round and watch. But then halfway through the funny video, buffering, and everyone's anticipation turns to impatience, and then fidgeting, and if and when the video ever gets buffered, whatever is so funny is much less so. Buffering is terrible. Throw it in the lake.
Fungus gnats. They live in dirt and multiply rapidly. They get up your nose. They are terrible tiny creatures, and I am against them. Employ swatting, sticky strips, and diluted peppermint tea to thin their ranks.
Andie MacDowell. She makes me writhe. What is with the inappropriately lush Southern accent that only pops out every third word? And the flat affect? We were watching Short Cuts last night, and we were like, god, even Lyle Lovett is better in this than she is. And he's terrible! But he's not an actor; I don't know what Andie MacDowell's excuse is. Her career is kind of on the wane anyway, though. I don't even know why I care. Maybe I just hate myself and project it all onto Andie MacDowell. Yeah, that's probably it. No action recommended.
For balance, one thing I love: Dark rum in pineapple juice with a splash of Topo Chico. I don't even like rum that much, but I crave this all the time lately. I move we all drink one every day.