I am growing fat on holiday torpor and turkey-and-mayonnaise sandwiches. Luckily, I had some excitement today to break through all that this afternoon when some joyriding kids ditched a stolen truck in the next-door neighbors' driveway. There were cops running around up and down the street and in the ravine out back, guys fingerprinting the truck, and people standing out in front of their houses with their arms crossed all up and down the street as the tiny drama played out. At the height of things we had five police cars, a tow truck, seven cops, and three handcuffed teenagers right in front of my house.
The cops started making calls, and as it got dark the kids' unhappy-looking parents started showing up to take them home. Finally, after about two hours, they hauled the truck away and the last of the cop cars pulled out. That meant my unexpected source of entertainment had dried up for the day, and I was forced to go to the kitchen and make yet another turkey sandwich.
My favorite part was when the cop found the rightful owner of the ballcap that had been dropped in the neighbors' backyard during the botched getaway. He put the hat on the kid, who was still in handcuffs, studied the effect, pulled the bill over to the side, and decided that didn't work either. Then he pulled it around to the back, gave it one final, artful tug, and nodded with satisfaction. The kid was not amused, but I was. I really wanted to take a picture, but I have learned that cops really don't like that, and I probably wouldn't have shown it to you anyway because that would be unethical for a lot of different reasons.