I wish I could have two presidential candidates vying for my approval in a nationally televised event. I would be asking for more interesting things than Joe the Plumber's stupid business tax breaks and health care, I can assure you of that. McCain would be all sneering, "Senator Obama, and you can look this up, under your plan Joolie the Dork would only get a thirty thousand dollar a year tax deduction for helicopter fuel and beef jerky purchases," and then Obama would be forced to look up and say, "Senator McCain would have the American public believe that, but the truth is I looked Joolie the Dork straight in the eye and promised her a three hundred thousand dollar tax break for that, plus a five-hundred-dollar-a-day per diem for pommel horse performances and professional fireworks displays. And we will pay for that with investments in wind power because I truly believe that is what we need to move this country forward."
Then I could sit back, squinting one eye and tapping my foot with my arms crossed while the entire staff of CNN made frantic phone calls to fact-checking organizations and nonprofit policy groups to determine who was telling the truth.
Do not mess with the priorities of Joolie the Dork. She has her finger on the pulse of this great country that is the United States of America.