I have not played the clarinet in 16 years, unless you count making drunken screeching noises designed to drive my former roommates nuts. Nevertheless, today I agreed to join my friend's tiny last-minute marching band this weekend for Mexic-Arte's Dia de Los Muertos parade.
Since I hadn't practiced in, oh, only half my lifetime, I thought it might be a good idea to pull my clarinet out tonight. I was sad to see that the cork was dried out and cracked and that the keys were starting to corrode. They require a good deal of oiling and wiping to keep everything in good condition, and obviously that hasn't happened.
The first blast scared Stinky so bad he hasn't come back upstairs since, but after I while I found I was sort of able to read the sheet music and produce something close to the correct notes. It really wasn't very good at all, but I was delighted I could still play.
I tootled merrily, if badly, for about a half an hour, but then some problems cropped up. My lower lip started to develop a painful divot, and I was gasping for breath at the end of each song. I honestly don't know how I'm going to play constantly while walking for a mile and a half.
There's also the memorization issue. The songs are super simple, but
I'm still not sure I can play them without a little help. I guess
I could buy one of those little instrument stands, or maybe I could
just ask the guy in front of me if I can tape the music to his back.
That's pretty lame, huh? That sort of thing makes me hope some of
the other people I'll be playing with are just bozos like me and not a bunch of actual musician-type badasses. That would be a mite embarrassing.
Anyway, if you want to join the procession, or just watch it go by for a while, it starts at six on Saturday at Plaza Saltillo and heads west on Sixth to Congress, where it ends at the Mexic-Arte Museum. There will also be skeletons, art cars, and 100 Frida Kahlo impersonators in honor of the good lady's birthday, and I believe the parade will be led by a group of Chihuahuas. It sounds like it should be pretty bitchin'.