Oh, my stars and garters!

Winter fresh

We got a ton of flowers from Eric's florist friend this weekend: two dozen roses and a dozen lilies, too old to sell but too good to discard. They are lovely, but they reached their prime around noon today. Tonight the roses are splayed open and the lilies are beginning to droop, and both are starting to smell a little cloying.

Right now we also happen to have a bowl full of vinegar and rocks nearby to facilitate the creation of popcorn rocks. When Eric came in for a beer earlier and said the kitchen smelled like a funeral home-scented douche, I could not argue. I will still keep the flowers one more day because they're pretty.

Popcorn rocks!

Firefox ate my post about my idea for Colton! The Musical, which is probably just as well. Instead I will show you the popcorn rocks that my sister brought me from D.C.

They look like big-whoop ordinary rocks, but if you put them in vinegar for a few weeks some chemical reaction occurs and they bloom. To magic! Or chemistry. Or geology. Something. I'm tired.

I had a pretty full weekend so this is going to be all over the place. (Like each post is ordinarily a coherent, polished gem, right?)

The play
It went fine, and people actually showed up. It pleases me that I know so many people who will go out of their way on a sunny Saturday to show up somewhere for a 10-minute performance. I wasn't nervous at all, except for the night before, when I was so paranoid I'd oversleep and miss the whole thing that I could barely sleep at all and woke up achy and groggy.

Really the best part was rehearsing last weekend. Amy, the director, took a half-page script, a few ideas she'd already come up with, and everyone else's input. Within two hours, she'd managed to develop all that into an honest-to-god performance. I was impressed, and I learned a ton. I want to do more stuff like that.

The barbecue
Saturday evening a bunch of us drove into Lockhart for Smitty's Barbecue. I was a little worried that they might be serving the dregs so late in the day. Worrying was stupid because in this case "the dregs" meant crispy, seasoning-crust ends attached to slabs of brisket laced with extra fat, so every bite had some chew and some melt to it. We gorged, and then when we were walking around the town square we ran into Margaret, who invited us over to her house for beer. Going out there is always worth the drive, but last night I was especially glad we did.

The beer
I had a lot of beer this weekend. Mostly good, and a little bad. (Hey, strip-mall bar in South Austin: If your beer tastes the way my grandparents' swamp-cooled garage smelled, you need to clean your tap lines. At $4 a pint, I'd rather not suck down mildew. Also, your bartender isn't especially friendly. I cheerfully condemn you.)

Tonight, though, I had some great beer.

Eric and I needed to go up to the bar where he works to throw away some boxes and get some flowers his florist friend had brought in. While we were there, I tried some of this exceptionally sour beer, which I liked but would not want to drink very much of.

Then, since it wasn't very busy and there was little chance Eric would be pressed into service on his night off, I asked if I could taste some beer. He brought me the four hoppiest beers in there, mostly IPAs, but they weren't exactly what I wanted. Not quite hoppy enough, I guess, or plenty hoppy but with a weird aftertaste.   

So I plunged onward. I had him give me a sample of the beer he liked best (Paulaner Pils; crisp but not too light) and of the beer he thought I would like best (St. Bernardus Trippel; thick Belgian goodness).

Of all the beers, I liked Sierra Nevada's Celebration Ale the best, although I didn't know that was what I was drinking at the time. Which is weird, because I've had it many times and would never call it my favorite, although maybe that's because it's nine dollars for a six pack.

I like beer a lot. I don't know much about it, but I definitely know what I like. So it was fun to have free reign over 70 taps for a while. I'd always wanted to do that, but it's usually way too busy in there for any sort of leisurely exploration.

Then we came home and tried the wheat lambic I bought at Central Market on Friday. It was totally delicious because it was sweet and tart but without the syrupy tasting fruit flavor most of lambics I've tried.

The downside of all this fun beer sampling is that I am very tired now, possibly because so many tastes of beer add up over time to many beers. Probably I should go zone out on other people's blogs and leave mine alone.

Very dramatic

If you would like to see the first play I've been involved with since I was a tin soldier in Carpenter Middle School's musical performance of The Velveteen Rabbit*, then meet in the lobby of the Winship Building on UT campus at noon tomorrow. It's a very short play, maybe seven or 10 minutes, so there's not much time investment there. And it's good, in an absurdist sort of way.

It's part of a larger project called 365 Days/365 Plays. Suzan-Lori Parks, whom I'd never heard of until a few weeks ago, wrote a play a day for a year in 2002 and 2003. This year she's seeking to have each play performed on its corresponding day. My friend Amy volunteered to direct the January 27 play and asked a bunch of friends to help her out. She also suggested everyone go out to eat afterwards to make it worth everyone's while, because seven minutes really is not very long. So there you have it.

*My father's review of the production: "Whoever decided to put that on should be taken out behind the school and shot." Tough crowd, my dad.

Repurpose

I miss swimming. I could go to the heated outdoor pool, but I don't think that would be very much fun when it's cold outside.

If I can't swim, then bike riding is almost as good. Today I tooled around the old airport, which they've been developing into a master-planned town-within-a-city. Oh, I'm sorry, urban village; I'm not really up on my buzzwords.

Anyway, there was definitely some activity: Trucks, backhoes, bulldozers, construction-worker wolf whistles*. The whole place smelled of diesel fumes. All that racket seemed strange amidst so much empty space.

As much as I don't like the idea of Austin getting even bigger and more crowded, it's pretty cool to watch a whole part of the city get built from scratch.

*Because I'm just that fine.

(Pictures below the jump.)

Floss, m'lady?

Why, I don't mind if I do!

Eric gave this to me as a stocking stuffer at Christmas. I don't think he meant it as a hint, but I have been flossing more lately.

There isn't much to say about a succession of damp, chilly days. I was relieved to learn I'm not the only one who's been sleeping a lot lately--10, 11, 12 hours a day. I was sure I'd been bitten by a tsetse fly, except I'm pretty sure they don't hang out where it's 40 degrees and drizzling. So the other only logical conclusion was that I was suffering from some horrible systemic organ failure, or possibly cancer. Right?

But no, it's just that nothing-much-going-on time of year, which this year happens to fall right in the middle of some extra-good sleeping weather. I hope I shake this off soon. Sleep is nice but ultimately boring.

Thank you, Bambi.

I came home after work to a midnight dinner of deer meat wrapped in bacon. That is by far the most important thing that happened today, so I will not even mention anything else.

Lawn in a pot update

Rye grass grows really fast. Within a week, my little pot of grass was right back to where it was before I cut it.

It's gotten a little out of hand, to be honest.

Buddy club!

Wallace is slowly integrating into the household. He still skitters from us when we walk toward him as though he's sure we're going to beat him with sticks or cook him for dinner, but with much less conviction than before.

We can pet him as long as we're very still and don't make eye contact with him, and we think he sneaks onto the bed at night sometimes when everyone's asleep. It was so cold this week. I was very glad that he was hiding under the air-hockey table or curling up next to Stinky instead of shivering miserably underneath someone's house.

Also, he's getting fat. We don't really mind that he runs away from us so much anymore because it's funny to see his kibble belly swinging back and forth.

Oh, due to a few faint glimmers of interest in the aftermath of the neti pot edition of Ear Candy, I'd like to mention that I still have some neti pot buttons left. If you want one, all you have to do is send me something neti-pot related and let me post it on the neti pot site, and I'll get one to you before you can say "clear sinuses."

A picture of you using a neti pot is sufficient, but I'll also be happy to accept anything that celebrates them: drawings, poems, songs, plays, dioramas, whatever. (No haiku, please. Haiku needs its space right now.) E-mail me for details; you won't regret it. Swear. 

More treacherous than you knew

Icicle dripping down shirt

   
Overzealous car de-icing

Comfort-food poisoning

Snow week

 
Look! Our little icicle is all grown up.

Despite the local news stations' exhortations to stay inside ("You could slip and fall if you even go out to get your mail," was my favorite warning), Eric and I keep making up excuses to leave the house so we can stomp around in the cold. We walked to HEB earlier for snacks and it started sleeting like a mother on the way home. It's very novel. The roads aren't even that bad, although my car is completely coated in ice. It'd be more trouble than it was worth to get it out of the driveway.

There are some more pictures here, mostly just of regular stuff that happens to have ice on it. This storm has been really fun; I wonder if we can squeeze just one more day out of it.

P.S. Another fun snow day activity is to watch people skid all over the place on the traffic channel.

Our very own icicles!

Aww. Aren't they cute? I was getting jealous of milk and cake's snow days, and now I've got one of my own. Sort of. It's below freezing and raining somewhere, and we're off work as a result, so I guess that's a snow day.*

I put whiskey in my coffee, took some pictures, and framed some little tiny doodles I made last week. Next I'll put more whiskey in more coffee and maybe make some prints. And Eric wants to take a walk later. He loves the cold, and it is never cold, so this is like the best day of the year for him.

*People who live up north think we are wusses for closing the city down after a little sleet. It's true, we are total wusses, but we so don't care. We may lack fortitude, but we also lack things like snow tires, salt trucks, and basic winter driving skills. ("Steer into the skid"? What the hell does that even mean? What if there's an 18-wheeler that's also into the skid?) Besides, if being a wuss means I can stay home all day and drink, then fine with me.

Lawn in a pot

I threw some grass seeds into a flowerpot on a whim a few weeks ago.

I wasn't sure what to expect, so I just watered it and waited.

It turned out pretty nice.

Hi hi

Hi.

Guys? Remember?

Does anyone else think the "Remember me?" check box on login screens comes off as a little forlorn?

Where did everybody go?

We live maybe 200 feet from the interstate, so its noise is a constant at our house. It's not horribly loud (unless the crotch rocket brigade flies by in low gear), but there's always a thrumming roar and the pok-pok-pok of tires rolling over the concrete segments.

Tonight, though, traffic is very light for some reason. There were no cars for a full minute a little while ago, and it was very noticeably quiet. Peaceful, even; the whole neighborhood seemed transformed by the lack of sound. I should take advantage of this rare opportunity by going out and doing donuts on the upper deck.

Idol

I love Molly Goatwax.

I don't care how it works

Finally, finally, finally, our computer problems seem to really for real be fixed. We still have to get our files off the old disgraced drive, but that shouldn't be a big deal. Most everything's all hooked up and installed and I'm gradually getting all my preferences set and files organized. We have software upgrades and a faster, better machine. Eric and our friend Billy did all the work. I just write boring blog posts about it.

Damn grackles

After seeing this massacre on my car tonight I decided I wouldn't be too upset if all those dead birds turned out to be poisoned.

I mean, I would never advocate doing something like that. On the other hand, it's not like there's a shortage.

Oh, and I washed my hair.

Being on the radio was extremely fun. It was cool to watch Jennifer do the show and play around with the microphones. I had to phone in the neti pot portion of the show from the station's bathroom because of fears that mucus-laced saltwater might damage all the new studio equipment. Fair enough.

I'm pretty sure I sounded like a dork, but that was more or less the point. Plus my dad e-mailed me later to tell me that he listened in on the internet feed and it inspired him to pull out the neti pot I gave him for Father's Day*. So, see, it was all worthwhile.

The rest of the weekend was fine. Stayed up too late, slept too much, went out too often. I also went to Bed Bath and Beyond to spend some gift cards. I left with a silverware set, some storage tins, and the conviction that I would feel not one shred of guilt about Macing every single person in the place and then ramming my car into all the other cars in the parking lot until my front end fell off. Joolie hate shop.

But the silverware is all hefty and nicely balanced and probably doesn't taste like rust, and, most importantly, it matches, unlike some other silverware I could name. The storage tins are attractive, airtight, and will ensure weevil-free flour for years to come. Except for the secret temper-tantrum freakout at the end, it was a very adult sort of shopping excursion.

*I don't remember getting him anything else, but I sincerely hope I did because that's kind of a shitty present. At least he uses it.

Sing thru yer nose

Be sure to listen to 91.7 (or listen online) between five and seven this evening. Jennifer, a recent neti pot convert, has graciously invited me to come on her indie-pop show, Ear Candy, to talk about about how great the neti pot is. There might even be an on-air demonstration. Plus Jennifer plays really good music. Can't beat all that with a hammer!

Stars and Garters safety corner

Canned air is a wonderful and useful thing. But it can be dangerous if not used properly.

RIGHT
Holding the can of air upright, use short, gentle blasts to dislodge dust and debris from computer components and the like.

WRONG (but funny)
It's probably not the best idea in the world to hold the can of air upright and ask your friend to pantomime steering a car and make motor noises, then use one short, gentle blast to blow his hair around while yelling, "Convertible! Convertible!" and laughing immoderately. But still.

WRONG  (and horrifying)
It's a bad idea to hold the can upside down while spraying it. This will cause the surface being sprayed to freeze immediately. Therefore, it's a very bad idea to hold the can upside down while spraying someone's skin.

(Because I am actually pretty squicked out by this myself, I put the photo illustration of the consequences of unsafe canned air handling after the jump.)

Inky dink

STARS AND GARTERS NEWS ALERT, 1:27 A.M.: COMPUTER FIXED; JOOLIE ECSTATIC

So I'm not going to.

When I was in high school, I was very, oh, what's the word? Insufferable pretty much nails it. If you think I'm being too hard on myself, that's only because you don't know that I decided in 10th grade that I would start taking class notes with a pen nib dipped in a bottle of ink. It was extremely inefficient, but I liked the way the letters looked and the general effect of me hunching over my flowery handwriting. At least I liked it until I tumped over the bottle in the middle of English class and ink spilled all over my desk and soaked into the carpet. My teacher glared, and 30 pairs of fifteen-year-old eyes fastened on my blushing face: you pretentious twit.

I went back to Pilot Razor Points after that and fulfilled my need for attention in more tidy and amusing ways, like painting realistic-looking head wounds on my forehead to scare my chemistry teacher. Look at me! LOOK AT ME!!!!

Anyway, that was just a long and self-indulgent* way of getting around to saying that I have been drawing with pen and ink the past few days, and I enjoy it very much.

I don't know, I just like the way the ink dumps off onto the paper.

Someday I will learn to draw something else, but probably not anytime soon.

That's pretty much all I've been up to. Our visitors are gone. The computer at home is still screwed up and we're considering trying to fix it with a baseball bat or possibly a propane torch. I'm back at work. I don't really mind. I have missed reading everyone's blogs and am slowly catching up on them. The new year was successfully rung in with many annoying noises and nice friends, and I'm not basing this on anything at all, but I think it's going to be a pretty good one.

*LOOK AT ME!!!!