Wain was supposed to hang out with us tonight, but he was deterred by a sick raccoon on his girlfriend's porch. He thinks it might have rabies because it's falling down a lot and seemingly fearless, although maybe it just got hit by a car or something. He called animal control just in case.
It's hard to say with stuff like that. You don't want to overreact, but you really don't want to fuck around with that kind of thing, either.
Denied Wain's company, all I have to do now is think about how incongruously cute the word "rabies" looks with its sweet, appealing "-ies" ending: Bunnies! Puppies! Ponies! Rabies! Just picture a little heart over the 'i' and you'll see what I mean. Whozzat got the rabies? Whoizzit?
See? It's adorable! And deadly.