He is crying. It is pathetic and it is horrible.
It is also, however, four in the morning, and I'm not about scare the shit out of the girls next door by climbing around on their porch and carport in an attempt get him down.
I feel awful, but it's honestly not that high and I can see that he's not hurt. Stinky's a pretty intrepid cat; I know he can get down on his own. I'm pretty sure he's just a big dork who's freaked himself out pretty badly. Is there a German compound word for simultaneously wanting to cry and laugh your ass off?
Update, 4:28 a.m.: Rescued with the help of a stepladder and Eric's superior wingspan! I'm going to bed.