I was making some Annie's macaroni and cheese--you know, the organic brand with the fuzzy little bunny as a mascot. You're supposed to open the box by pressing on the picture of the fuzzy little bunny tail that's printed on the little perforated tab on the side. But the perforation was cut badly, and it wouldn't open despite repeated impatient jabs. (I should mention here that I was hungry to the point of profound irritability--what my friend Katherine calls "hangry.") I tried using my thumbnail, which promptly broke in two. So then I set the box on its side, took out a steak knife, and cut that stupid, placid son-of-a-bitch bunny's ass to shreds.
After the pasta was freed and boiled, I pulled the powdered cheese packet out of the box, and of course that had also been slashed to ribbons in my stabfest. Powdered cheese went everywhere. Counter, floor, sink, stove, pants. I mean, that stuff is practically aerosolized. I had to wipe up a whole mess of powdered cheese before I could eat my food, and the floor is still gritty.
I felt really stupid about that. After I thought about it for a while, I felt really stupid about the entire meal. Because how can food be organic and come in powdered form? Why am I paying more than a dollar for a box of macaroni and cheese anyway? Am I really that much of a sucker? It's not even any tastier than the regular kind, just a lot less orange. Come to think of it, why am I even eating mac and cheese in the first place, at least while I'm sober?
I don't know. I'm willing to concede I might have an anger problem, but seriously, sometimes little shit like that just drives me crazy. That bunny was totally asking for it.