I was looking online for houses to rent (anyone know of anything for August?) and ran across a couple of familiar properties, both of which made me laugh pretty hard.
One was the duplex unit adjoining my ex-boyfriendish-type-person's (that's the most precise term I can come up with; let's just say the arrangement went on for way too long and did not make me feel like a pretty princess) old place, which was across the driveway from the cool little house where Wain used to live. It looks more like a work trailer on a construction site than an actual duplex, but everyone has to live somewhere, and at least the rent there is still cheap.
The other property was the real prize. It was a unit for rent in the apartment complex where I lived in the mid-90s. It was a shithole.
Actually it's still a shithole, as near as I can tell, but now it's a shithole with stained concrete floors, funky tile, stainless steel appliances, and more than twice the rent.
The courtyard photo was the very best part of the listing:
The Photoshopped landscaping and awnings are brilliant. It looks like a Sims house! And who wouldn't want to live in a Sims house? Or at least a Sims triplex?
Seriously, how bad does it actually look that they had to do that? And why stop at a few plant beds and some grass? If you're going to misrepresent your property to make it look better than it is, why not paste in a waterfall and a few frolicking unicorns? How about slapping some stained glass windows on the front, and, while you're at it, throw in a blowjob machine and a free fried chicken dispenser?
I think I've done enough lease searching for tonight.