So guess what? I'm probably going to get a root canal tomorrow! A terrifically expensive root canal! Oh, man, this is glorious! This reminds me of the best day of my life, which I can't even remember right now because my thinking is so clouded by my extreme euphoria! Oh, god, yes! Yes! YES!
Eh, whatever. I've had a root canal before, and after it was over I wasn't really sure why it's always flung around as the high-water mark of bad experiences. Sucks that my car got torched with me in it, but, hey, it's better than a root canal! I'd rather have a root canal than go to one more frigging church bazaar with my aunt this month, ha ha ha! Oh, man, I'd rather have a rusty lawnmower blade forced up my urethra than have to get a root canal! Etc., etc. What a bunch of horseshit.
The run-up to the root canal, now, that hurts. I woke up at four this morning from tooth pain and lay awake for over an hour, kicking my feet and making weird tiny noises while I waited for my overdose of ibuprofen to kick in.
When I got my last root canal, I was in so much pain I begged them to dispense with the petty niceties of drilling and reconstruction and just yank the fucker out, which, fortunately, they refused to do. And once they numbed it for the procedure, it wasn't so bad, no different than any other filling. And after they killed the root, capped it off, and sent me home with a prescription for painkillers that I didn't really need, I was ecstatic with relief and, well, being really high on Vicodin.
But the expense, that's what's really going to hurt. Not as bad as my stupid tooth did last night, but I had much more interesting plans for that money than dental work. Oh, well. I guess it beats a kick in the teeth, ha ha ha!