I skipped work today, but I'll go back tomorrow. Also, I'll be having Middle Eastern and Dr. Seuss for lunch.
Also, remember when Celis beer was good? And then it was gone? And then it was back, but it sucked? Well, Mister Celis is leaving Belgium to come back to Texas. God knows why anyone would want to do that, but I'm not going to argue. There will be Celis beer again, just under a different name.
The drunkest I've ever been on beer* was after a six-pack of Celis Grand Cru when I was 20. I was used to Busch! Nobody told me it was, like, 99 percent alcohol! But instead of the pukey aversion that typically follows that sort of experience, I have an affection for Celis. I mean, it's not the beer's fault I was a dumbass.
I hope it's as good as I remember it; my taste in a lot of things was not so great then.
*Drunkest, not sickest. Sickest was when I consumed a series of Miller High Lifes and a codeine tablet, chased with an accidental healthy swig from a can filled with cigarette butts, on the drive home from a Rangers' game. I woke up the next day, ate a kiwi fruit, drank an Alka-Seltzer, and left for the afternoon shift at 7-Eleven. I spent the bus ride to work slumped over with my head banging against the window, barely made it to the trash can, and spent the entire night plucking kiwi seeds out of my nose. To add insult to injury, by some demonic coincidence the guy who worked at the RaceTrac in Pflugerville, where we'd made a pit stop the previous night, came in, recognized me, and mocked me for having tried to exit the store by pushing repeatedly on a plate glass window. I don't remember if the Rangers won, but they fucking better have.
Now I see that I should not have asterisked this, as it turned out to be longer than the post itself, and I think that's really obnoxious. Also, I realize it's kind of tacky to brag about how wasted you used to get. But seriously, y'all, I was soooo wasted.