I think my car-finding problem was solved last night when I parked under a tree last night. Birds crapped on it so copiously that I'm a little embarrassed to be driving it. And it's not the quantity so much as the quality; I mean, it's got texture now.
Maybe I'll just let it stay. It's definitely distinguishing. Plus it's as much of a personal statement as any bumper sticker--instead of "Keep Honking, I'm Reloading" or "Visualize Whirled Peas," I'm saying, "I'm so lazy and care so little about my car's appearance that I won't wash it even after 8,000 grackles let loose all over the finish."