Hooray! We got Issue #1 of Dirty Found this weekend.
If you haven't seen Found, it's a magazine that collects and showcases the loose stuff people find and send in to the editor. Mostly it's photos, notes, grocery lists, stuff like that. Most of it is pretty funny, although some of it can be pretty poignant. Dirty Found is based on the same premise, except that, duh, it's all dirty. You know, pictures of boobs and wieners and an enormous stash of enema p%rn that didn't make it into the estate sale after the owner died. Stuff like that.
It's a pretty good collection, especially since all those naked Polaroids and awkwardly worded come-ons are treated mostly with gentle humor and respect. There's none of the "ha-ha, gotcha, you dropped your sexy pictures of your ugly-ass wife on the bus, you dumbass"-style ridicule you might expect. It's just good voyeuristic fun, and, like the clean version, it's a good magazine to leave lying around on your coffee table or your bathroom floor--everyone who ever visits your house will pick it up and get engrossed at some point.
I made a great dirty find myself about three years ago. I was leafing through a cultural anthropology book that Eric had bought years ago at a thrift store in Houston but had apparently never read. A glossy 4x6 photo fell out, and I about peed myself laughing before I tore through the house to show Eric and my roommates, yelling "HOLY SHIT! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST FOUND!"
It's of a naked guy with a mustache, sitting in a hotel room whirlpool with a cigarette and a bottle of Miller Genuine Draft. He's grinning like mad, bugging his eyes out, and sticking out his tongue just a little. Oh, yeah, and he's got a short, wide little chub resting against his belly. He looks like he's having the time of his life.
I sent the picture off to Found as soon as I could, but because this was in the days before Dirty Found, the editor could not find a home for it. I waited for a long time, but it never showed up on the website or in any of the issues.
Eventually it was sent back to me with a nice but regretful note and some promotional stickers. I'd pretty much forgotten about it, but I admit I felt a little bitter when I first opened my issue of Dirty Found and saw page after page of nekkid photos, many of which I felt were nowhere near as good as the one of my ridiculously ecstatic naked mystery man.
Maybe it's for the best, because they would have had to block the guy's eyes out. Really, the way he bulges them out is the whole beauty of it, so without them, there wouldn't be much point. I thought about posting it here, but providing pictures of crazy-looking guys with semi-hard-ons isn't really my thing. Plus I'm sure he's someone's dad or uncle, although the thought has crossed my mind that he's an exhibitionist and planted it there on purpose. In that case, I'd be fulfilling his wishes beyond his wildest dreams.
Well, whatever, I just hope I never run into him anywhere.