I sat in my pajamas and drank coffee until six this evening. Then I got dressed and went to my friends' Halloween gathering, where I ate lots of salty snacks and snickered at rude and clueless trick-or-treaters. It was such a good day.
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I sat in my pajamas and drank coffee until six this evening. Then I got dressed and went to my friends' Halloween gathering, where I ate lots of salty snacks and snickered at rude and clueless trick-or-treaters. It was such a good day.
10/31/2004 at 10:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Eight hundred and thirty miles in 12 1/2 hours is pretty good, yeah? I need to drink some cold, cold beer now to cancel out the four Red Bulls I drank this afternoon.
First I have to tell you about the Ford Taurus in Dallas that tapped a car on I-30, lost control, did a swervy, smoky 360 over three busy lanes, and finally came to a stop facing the right way on the shoulder without hitting a thing. It was scary and amazing. My teeth stopped chattering somewhere north of Waco.
I have stories and pictures, blah blah blah, etc. etc., who cares, more tomorrow. Thanks to RooRoo for his lovely contributions.
10/30/2004 at 10:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
I'm gonna have it killed.
I mean the white one. The orange one is ok.
No one now resides in the homestead except the "I". As evidenced by the photo, I believe that Stinky (orange critter) will do the job pro bono. Ever seen concentrated Evil? This "thing" has now entered the "how am I doing?-Ed Koch" phase of its life. What I mean to say is that this "thing" is determining its position in the pecking order of life in our house. It is definitely under Stinky's rule but the humans... the competition varies. In the process it is wreaking havoc with my sanity. Wain is shacked up for the weekend with a rather cute lady, Jooric are out of town and I'm working a freakload. The "thing" has/had and will be have-having a full reserve of "shock and awe" ready for me when I have/have had been being returned from work. Bully. Shit nuggets. I face it alone and I fear. Spring-loaded ball of knives.
At one point I had to pull the "thing" out of the inner workings of my amp.
Everything will work out. I love the beast.
p.s. I'm now convinced that the best song ever written/performed is Smog's (Bill Callahan-current Austin resident-hermit genius) "Our Anniversary". Some people disagree but I always argue from a form/beauty position. That usually shits their bed. The song is from his latest record "Supper". Just fukkin buy it. Beat's the crud outta Franz Ferdinand although I'm coming around to them. I like their ties. Reminds me of our friend Katherine.
Chew would hate this record but she can just suck it.
Political observation: Vote.
10/30/2004 at 06:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
10/28/2004 at 07:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)
...my name is Roone or "roo roo". As ya'll have gathered, Joo and Eric are stomping around in Kentucky as I type. Hopefully they have hit all the Bourbon distilling companies in said state. I'm trying this blog thing out. Stick with me because I really suck at writing non-History stuff.
Tonight was a rough hideous night at my job distraction. I'm a beertender. I'm currently bound to working 9 days in a row because one of our (Eric works with me hence "our") co-worker's father died and Eric is (duh) on the road. Suck, suck and more suck. I had made plans to see Shaun of the Dead with a friend but instead I babysat a bunch of drunks. In addition to that, I missed the Red Sox win their first World Series since 1918. I just wished the Cardinals would done anything but roll over like a balless basset hound. They hit like 0.167 for the Series. The craptacular part of the evening was missing the final out in real time because some meathead was sampling our Pumpkinhead Ale. Hate that guy. The best part of the night is when I set the alarm at 2 a.m. and walked out to win some money at my friend's late-night poker game. I won $50 bucks. Bonus. Everyone loved my Red Sox hat.
About the hat. In preparation for their trip to attend some screwball wedding in god-knows-where (I forgot) they had to go the "whitey" mall and the asked me if I needed anything. I was watching game 6 of the Sox-Yankees series (the one where the Sox won to force game 7) and I said "Hey! Get me a Red Sox hat!". They did and it arrived in the 4th inning. I adroitly donned it and Johnny Damon hits his grand slam. They won. The hat was charmed. I wore it for game 7. They won the ALCS. I wore it for every game. They won the Series in a 4 game sweep. My hat is 6-0. Rock. Enought of that.
Other things.
I just watched the new Eminem video. It is greatness although I hate the guy. Rips Bush good. Check it out. Hope it motivates the Xbox set. Kerry's got this election in the bag. If no win, expect riots.
I have discovered a fabulous new bourbon. Bulleit. Wow. It mixes with water and club soda quite well. Try it out.
A couple of days ago I looked for a collection of James Dickey poems. I tried Bookstop and they had nothing! One of the best modern southern poets and nothing. One must consider that living in the South that a bookstore in the South would carry his stuff. Nope. Disappointing as hell as I had $50 in gift certs. I bought some Chomsky books. I hate Bookstop and their underpaid goth "clerks". If you've never read Dickey, check it out. I love his stuff. Cherrylog Road hooked me.
"Drunk on the wind in my mouth,
Wringing the handlebar for speed,
Wild to be wreckage forever."
Best line ever.
That's enought for me. Have a good day and suck it Chew!
10/28/2004 at 06:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (12) | TrackBack (1)
The String Cheese Incident played next door to our hotel last night. Also the Future Farmers of America convention is in town. That, my friends, is some fucking great people watching.
We met Black Francis' brother at the Louisville Slugger bat factory. Eric was wearing a Mission of Burma T-shirt, and the guy said, oh, wow, that's a good band, my brother is playing some shows with that band. And we said, oh, that's nice. And he said, yeah, have you heard of the Pixies? So we told him about how we saw them last week and how I liked them a lot. He seemed really happy to hear that and said he'd pass it on. We saw him several hours later in a restaurant window as we were walking by and he laughed and waved and I laughed and waved and it was cute.
The bat factory was cool. I like factory tours.
We also went to an art gallery to look at art and the riverfront to look at the river. Lots of old industrial stuff there, railroad bridges and abandoned factories and canal locks, and the highway interchanges curving away and above it all. I guess if you live somewhere that has that stuff it's no big deal, but I always like to look at it. It's depressing, but in a really permanent, solid, satisfying way.
We bought raspberry lambic, because you can't buy it in Texas due to ridiculous labeling regulations, and I had bison meatloaf (buffaloaf?) for dinner. It was delicious, which is fortunate because that's what my burps have tasted like for the past three hours.
Now I have to go find out more about Mammoth Cave and the surrounding areas so we don't spend all day tomorrow sniping at each other as we drive around aimlessly in the rain.
10/26/2004 at 08:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
I'm a little afternoon-drunk and sun-blinded, so I won't go into much right now.
Short version: We have seen many amazing and unamazing things. The ride to Arkansas was treacherous and petrifying. But, as you can see, we didn't die. The heartland is pretty, but unfortunately much of it smells like pigshit. Today was the historical tour of Eric's idyllic childhood. He got to ride his bike downtown and play in cemeteries and live in a cool old house. Fucker.
Tomorrow we'll visit the baseball bat factory. Wednesday I think we're going to Mammoth Cave National Park because why not go to Mammoth Cave National Park?
More later.
10/25/2004 at 05:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts cost $1.19, but deer nuts are under a buck.
10/25/2004 at 04:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
Right after I finished my last post, one of these came today too!
"For shut ins, stamp collectors, show 'n tell, art tracing, coin collectors."
10/22/2004 at 01:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
Ok, I'm back, but only because I have to tell you about how this has truly been a great week for personal mail. In addition to last Friday's haul, I got two postcards this week from my vacationing pen pal. One of was about a farting Clydesdale and the other one depicted the creepy killer hotel in The Shining.
Then, just now, I got a Halloween card from Eric's mom and a truly excellent mix tape from a blogger friend. Shit yeah!
10/21/2004 at 03:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Tomorrow morning we leave on our road trip! Arkansas, Louisville, Nashville, and we just decided to visit Mammoth Cave. We'll be back really late on the 30th. We're very happy about getting out of town and driving around, seeing some hills and foliage and shit. It's also going to be good for me to get away from the internet, which I've become wretchedly dependent upon this close to the election.
I was going to do post-dated posts, but I got bored and only did one. It'll show up some day next week.
Hey, don't you think Roone should do a guest post while I'm gone? I tried to talk him into it, but he seemed reluctant. Maybe if someone suggested a topic, he might run with it. I'd try harder to convince him, but I have shoes to buy and a car to clean out.
Ok, bye!
10/21/2004 at 02:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
They were really good. They played for a long time, they played well, and it looked like they were having fun. They played the one song I had really really wanted to hear but wasn't expecting to, and my scalp got all tingly when they did. Excellent.
Maybe I had anticipated the show a little too much for a little too long, so it was a teeny bit anticlimactic. And I am finding that ultimately I am a cranky person who is not at her best in huge crowds of sweaty, fucked-up twenty-year-olds. But it was still a really good show.
10/21/2004 at 11:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Today's high will be an oppressive and untenable 92. The low last night was 77 motherfucking degrees.
Currently, it's overcast, hazy, and muggy outside. Downtown we've got 83 degrees, and the air smells like a dead elephant's colon.
The low again tonight will be a balmy and asinine 77.
Tomorrow we can expect an excruciating high of 93 with a you've-got-to-be-fucking-kidding-me heat index of 101.
Look for a soupy, patchy fog that leaves an unpleasant sticky film on your skin in the morning hours, until the impiteous and terrible sun peeks out around mid-day. That should start baking the exhaust fumes into a blistering, stinking soup that, should you venture outside for even a few moments, will make you want to lay down and die mid-stride. I think we can leave those umbrellas at home tomorrow, ha-ha!
There could be some relief on Friday, when I get in the car and get the fuck out of this hellhole for a week.
10/20/2004 at 12:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBack (1)
I forgot I have a vulture joke. Ok:
A vulture walks into an airport with three dead raccoons in his mouth and heads for the boarding area. The ticketing agent stops him and says, "I'm sorry sir, but I can't let you on this flight with all those dead raccoons."
The vulture drops the raccoons and asks, "Why the hell not?"
And the ticketing agent says, "Because we only allow two carrion per passenger.
God, that sucks! I love that joke so much.
The vulture we saw in the road tonight was eating a squirrel. In case you saw the picture a few posts down and were wondering.
10/19/2004 at 11:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
We picked up Eric's new suit tonight. He doesn't look that much like a funeral director in person; he looks tidy and handsome and a little intimidating.
I was pleasantly surprised at how nicely it came together. He hadn't expected to be buying a suit when we wandered into (scary) Men's Wearhouse last week, so he tried it on while wearing white tube socks, three days' worth of stubble, and a T-shirt with a line drawing of an anthropomorphic heroin syringe playing a fife and leading around a bunch of fresh-scrubbed little kids over the caption "Satan's Waitin'!" (When I pointed out the salesman might not have appreciated the shirt so much, he nodded happily and said, "Yep, and I smell really bad too!")
Anyway, he kind of looked like a dork when he tried it on in the store over his regular clothes, especially with an overeager, compulsively smiling salesman orbiting him, tugging on the pants and wrapping a tape measure around Eric's neck.
I didn't get the full effect until we got home tonight. And then I was all, like, damn. He just smiled and checked himself out in the full-length mirror for a few seconds longer. Then he ran upstairs to change back into shorts as fast as he could.
10/19/2004 at 09:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
Swear ta god. I was fine, chipper, upbeat all morning. Until my coworker Jo comes into our office and requests the MP3 of Mariah Carey covering Def Leppard's "Bringin' on the Heartbreak."
Joel e-mails it to her, but not before he plays it, all four-something minutes. Then all of a sudden, for no other reason I can pinpoint, I'm cranky and frowny and itchy and my eyes feel heavy and sore. I swear it's because of that caterwauling bitch.
I like that song, though.
10/19/2004 at 01:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
Here is the newest lino cut. The main thing is it's my first real attempt at two-color printing.
I'm far too lazy to build a registration block, so I used thick, strong magnets on a metal base to keep everything in line instead.
I'm happy that my magnet theory worked, sort of, but you can tell the colors are still off by kind of a lot. Clearly, the answer is more magnets. Lots more magnets. And possibly less beer. Well, whatever, I'll figure out a way to keep those fuckers in place yet.
10/19/2004 at 12:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)
Wednesday is the long-awaited Pixies show. Friday we leave for our road trip. Also I think we're going to order a new computer soon, since the one we have now is slow, buggy, and running like doodoo. Eric and I want to start playing with more graphics programs. The current one just won't do for stuff like that.
And let's not forget how thrill-packed today is going to be, what with early voting starting and me about to go out and get new tires and all. Actually, I'm pretty excited about those things too. Eeee!
10/18/2004 at 01:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
It's my sister's birthday. She had planned on going out for brunch and taking the amphibious vehicle tour of Austin with her boyfriend and a few friends and me, but she got thorougly trashed yesterday and was feeling a little wobbly today. Actually, she was pretty much destroyed today. So we scaled back and went out for Mexican instead.
Just before we got inside the restaurant, Jill and I started talking about the day she was born, specifically about how my first conscious memories begin with her.
Basically, my memory goes like this: nothing for two and half years, then pow, I remember watching the Bears game with my dad while my mom was in the hospital; my dad was folding laundry and waiting for the phone to ring while I fooled around in front of the TV. And then nothing again, until I can remember watching my mom being pushed out to the car in a wheelchair a few days later with a big old smile on her face and my sister in her arms.
And so on from there. I've tried, but I really can't remember a time without her. We agreed that was pretty cool, and then we went inside so she could ease her agony with a Bloody Mary and an enchilada plate.
10/17/2004 at 06:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
I went for a bike ride today. While I was out I saw a blank-faced family sitting around in lawn chairs in the park, watching the UT game on a 24" TV they'd hooked up to their car battery.
I still can't decide if that was genius or the most pathetic damn thing I've seen in a long time.
10/16/2004 at 06:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)
If you haven't seen it already, please watch this video of Jon Stewart taking the hosts of Crossfire to task for being irresponsible hacks. The big story is that he called Tucker Carlson a dick, which in itself is a public service, but there's a lot more to it than that; Jon Stewart is relentless and deadly serious throughout. The clip is long, but it's far more thrilling than even the transcript suggests.
10/16/2004 at 02:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
Look at all the great stuff that was waiting for me when I got home from work today:
1. The bras I ordered last weekend.
2. A postcard from an ex-boyfriend describing a drunk guy pissing himself on the subway.
3. The buttons my roommate ordered to share with everybody.
4. And the real prize, a plush naked mole rat from my friend Cathy.
Thanks to Kohl's, Brandon, Roone, and Cat for the best mail day ever.
10/15/2004 at 10:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
So does anyone know of fun things to do and places to eat and drink in Louisville?
Eric and I are going on a road trip next Friday to Eureka Springs, Arkansas, Louisville, and Nashville.
We'll be in Eureka Springs for a wedding, and my aunt and grandmother live in Nashville, so those are pretty much covered. Eric lived in Louisville until he was 12 and hasn't been back since, so we figured while we were as far east as Arkansas, we might as well keep going for a few days and look around. We're going to do the Eric tour of the city and maybe go to the Louisville Slugger factory, but other than that: ???
10/15/2004 at 01:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
Congratulations to Joel, who pulled out a stunning victory in computer solitaire this morning. The game was a real nail-biter, but a calm and confident Joel shuttled the cards from stack to stack with laser precision and an easy grace. Masterful!
10/15/2004 at 12:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
It's black. It fits. It shows cleavage. It was on sale. It was the third one I tried on.
10/14/2004 at 04:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Didja hear the one about Bill O'Reilly getting sued for sexual harassment? He is a sad and nasty man.
10/13/2004 at 07:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
I can't post today. I have to play stupid online word games and wander up and down the hall pestering my coworkers and stare out the window at the rain instead.
10/13/2004 at 04:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I won't say anything at all.
10/12/2004 at 11:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBack (0)
In the wake of a week-long controversy, one man has decided to have his tooth repaired with conventional materials.
Despite a poll indicating that 36 out of 42 readers felt Eric should get a gold tooth in one form or another, he has opted for a porcelain cap to cover his chipped right front tooth.
He cited cost and convenience as instrumental to his decision.
"It took, like, twenty minutes. The technology has come so far. I couldn't believe it," said Eric, who until today had not been to the dentist since he was 12. "The stuff they used to make the tooth tasted like shit, but that's okay."
10/12/2004 at 05:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
Oh, god, why did I just read a three-page article on bird flu? Scary stuff. Now that there's concern about a pandemic, I'm very conscious of everything I do because I feel like I should be part of the exposition scene of a disaster movie in which the chumpy leads are quietly going about their dull but tolerable lives, innocently unaware that in just a few hours their lives are going to change forever when they start bleeding through their pores/getting attacked by werewolves/contracting an aggressive strain of avian flu.
Does anybody else's brain ever start narrating for them? It doesn't happen all the time, but every once in a while (she writes) my brain feels the need to point out everything I do. And for some reason it's all in third person. It's really annoying, but I think it's just my brain perversely trying to be cute, kind of like getting a song stuck in your head or something. I should give my brain more to do so it won't have to resort to this kind of crap for amusement. (She pauses to take a sip of water and scratch her arm, then shifts in her chair and resumes typing.)
Does this sound as psychotic as I think it does? (She wonders.)
Anyway, enough about that. Lynell sent me a link to an article about okapi. Okapi are great. They have zebra legs, an antelope body, and a giraffe head. They're very shy. If you don't have a New York Times password, you can go admire the okapi here; according to the site, they're the only animals that can clean their ears with their tongue. An impressive creature by any measure, and far more pleasant to contemplate than a constantly evolving species-jumping virus.
10/12/2004 at 01:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
It's a beautiful day. I was driving to work this morning, admiring the sky, cursing my menstrual cramps, and thinking about how little I wanted to sit in an office all day. So I hung out until two and giddily left for the day.
I picked up Eric at home and spirited him off for Vietnamese food. Then we went to the science store, Science Stuff, which I'm sure isn't nearly as cool as American Science and Surplus, but is still pretty cool. They're hosting a science fest this weekend. The counter guy was very excited about it, and I don't blame him. If people were going to shoot off a bunch of rockets and a bomb squad were going to be demonstrating an explosives-detecting robot in front of my work, I'd be pretty amped too.
Anyway, I got my damn magnets, eight nice strong ones, and a laminated anatomy chart, from which I learned that the cheekbone is the zygomatic bone and that men have a bulbourethral gland. So it's been a pretty productive afternoon off so far.
10/11/2004 at 04:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I am weak.
10/11/2004 at 01:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I was looking for some superstrong magnets for an art project last night and ended up spending a very long time looking at extremely charming line drawings of reticles, anemometers, and random medical supplies. They carry toys, robot parts, art supplies, and on and on.
The product descriptions are bizarre and sometimes brilliant. Everthing is factory surplus, so most of it is supercheap.
Brigade Quartermasters was my favorite catalog for a long time because where else can you browse for blowguns, but AS&S is so fuckin' cool it just kicked BQ off the list completely. I'm going to subscribe to the print copy and consult it for all my Christmas purchases this year. Then I'm going to leave it on the back of my toilet, and if you come to my house and have to pee you'll start flipping idly through it for just a second, but you'll get sucked in looking at all the weird neat stuff, and next thing you know you've been in there looking at it for kind of a long time, for sure way longer than it should have taken you to do your business and check your hair or makeup and glance through my medicine cabinet, so you'll put it back and make a big show of washing your hands before you come out into the living room and scan everyone's faces to see if they all have that "I know what YOU'VE been doing" look in their eyes.
Ha! Just kidding. You would never do that. And even if you did no one would notice because everyone is too busy wondering if everyone else noticed the stupid thing they just did. But it really is an interesting catalog.
10/10/2004 at 09:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
I have to buy a dress this weekend to wear to a wedding later this month. I haven't bought a dress (except for the wedding-inappropriate pink one, which I still haven't worn) in about six years. As a result, I have no idea what kind of dress would fit or even suit me. And, to make matters worse, I don't really have a good shape for dresses. My body rejects dresses as if they were transplant gorilla hearts. Dresses just sort of sit on my frame, flopping and bunching and riding and pinching. This is not self-conscious girly whining, either. This is empirical fact based on simple geometry.
My attitude sucks from the get-go, I know, but I can tell you with absolute certainty that this is going to suck balls.
I'm scared.
10/08/2004 at 04:59 PM in fashion and beauty | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (1)
My friend Bryan gave me a cutting off his big monster Pointy cluster today. He says it's a Howarthia plant. I don't know much about that, but I do think Pointy and Prickly are going to get along just fine.
10/08/2004 at 01:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
10/07/2004 at 03:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)
I understand that it's far more secure, and I know that's very important. Everyone I know who uses Mozilla says they love it. But I don't really care for it. Actually, I kind of hate it.
It doesn't seem as intuitive as Explorer (although that could just be what I'm used to). But by far my biggest bitch is that most websites aren't configured expressly for it, so a lot of pages take a long time to load, load strangely, or don't come up at all. How can you love that? What's the good of having a secure connection if it already runs as though it has a bunch of spyware and crap loaded on it?
I'm not being snide (well, maybe a little). Anyway, can someone explain it to me? Is there a better solution?
10/06/2004 at 10:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)