Why does everything on this planet have to be all fancified with something ugly or stupid?
I'm looking for plain black 2x3 picture frames. But I can't have them because every single frame I look at has to have a stupid ceramic beach umbrella or a doggie bone or an "I Love Grandma" tag glued to it. Or gold inlays, or pewter roses, or dopey grinning frogs, or some damn horrible thing. 
I don't need that crap. I was kind of hoping the pictures I want to put in the frames would be expressive enough without the frames indicating that they were taken in the spirit of "Beach Fun" or "Friends Forever," you know?
I just. Want. A. Fucking. Plain. Black. 2x3. Picture. Frame.
Yargh. I guess I'd be better served by looking for one instead of bitching about it.
Update, 11:30 p.m.: Still no luck. I haven't really been looking that hard, honestly, especially once I got bored with laughing at the Precious Moments frames. But if you find me a place that sells plain black 2x3 frames for around three dollars or less, I'd be really grateful and will set one aside, put something cute in it, and send it to you along with a notecard and a random piece of junk from my desk drawer.
Deal?