I know I have written about this before, as have most people with blogs, but the referrer log to this site almost always cracks me up.
Yesterday someone stopped by because they were Googling "I screwed my sister."
First of all, ew. Second of all, why don't people know that you get much better results for your searches if you throw some quotation marks around your phrases? Otherwise, you just end up at my boring, crappy old non-sister-screwing-related site, where the individual words "I," "screwed," "my," and "sister," have all appeared at some time or another, but, until now, never in conjunction with each other.
I liked the one from a few minutes ago better. Someone plugged "where do the hookers hang out in midland and odessa, texas"? into AskJeeves.com.
To the person who wanted that information but ended up here instead: sorry I couldn't be of assistance, but everyone knows Jeeves is a lazy hack who'll point you anywhere just to get you off his back and stop bugging him already with your stupid whiny questions about hookers or pie crust recipes or whatever.
Finally, it's sad but true, but you would not believe the number of people who've come here while searching for a correllation between eye floaters and masturbation ever since I posted some crackpot's thoughts on the subject.
Like at least one person per day. At least! And those are just the folks who ran the search and then clicked on my site. Who knows how many others are out there, scanning Google search pages for "eye floaters masturbation" through their onanists' floater-clouded eyes, scrolling down the screen with their sweaty, unclean little hands as they blink repeatedly and rue the day they ever gave in to Temptation?
Suckers.
